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Rio Teresa
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PostSubject: Joke Time!   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:32 pm

top 5 na MALING SAGOT sa WASTONG TANONG

top 5: ang tanong na:
KUMAIN KA NA BA?

sinasagot ng:
BUSOG PA KO EH!

***ang sagot na ito kadalasan sinasagot kung walang pera at wala talagang pangkain pero sana sumagot kayo ng tama eh hindi eh minsan pa may halong sagot na DIET AKO EH.. mukha niyo...


top 4 ang tanong na:
ANONG ORAS KLASE MO?

sinasagot ng:
MAMAYA PA!

***ito pa ang isang kamalian, pag tinatanong tayo kung anong oras klase, sinasabing mamaya pa eh napakahaba kaya ng mamaya... marami ring mamaya parang bukas napakaraming bukas...



top 3 ang tanong na:
BAKIT WALA KA KAHAPON?

sinasagot ng:
ABSENT AKO EH!

***oo nga absent ka, kaya nga tinatanong kung bakit di ba?


top 2 ang tanong na:
ANONG ORAS NA?

sinasagot ng:
MAAGA PA!

***waaaaaaaaah maaga pa? mukha mo, oras nga tinatanong... oras... orasssssssssssssssssss!


top 1 ang tanong na:
'SAN KA NA?

sinasagot ng:
PAPUNTA NA!

***oo alam naming papunta ka na... ang tanong nasan ka na
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DemonSouL
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:34 pm

lol!
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kierby7
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:37 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
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Rio Teresa
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PostSubject: Funny meanings   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:41 pm

Funny Meanings

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

***********
Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

***********
Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

***********
Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

***********
Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

***********
Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

***********
Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

***********
Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .

***********
Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

***********
Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

***********
Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

***********
Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

***********
Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

***********
Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

***********
Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

***********
Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

***********
Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

***********
Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

***********
Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

***********
Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

***********
Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

***********
Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

***********
Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

***********
Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

***********
Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

***********
Father:

A banker provided by nature.

***********
Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

***********
Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

***********
Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

***********
Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
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Rio Teresa
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:41 pm

hoy mga spammers! wag kayo dito... haha.

wag naman puro lol!
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Rio Teresa
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PostSubject: Aussie Words   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:44 pm

Aussie Words

These were results for an Ozwords comp where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by only one letter, and supply a new and witty definition.

Quote :
You'll probably need to be an Aussie to understand!

billabonk
to make passionate love beside a waterhole.

bludgie
a partner who doesn't work but is kept as a pet.

dodgeridoo
a fake indigenous artefact.

lyrebard
Ern Malley

mateshit
all your flat mate's belongings lying strewn around the floor.

licky
a day off you get by asking the boss nicely.

barramondi
the sickie taken after Sunday, for the purpose of fishing.

fair drinkum
good quality Aussie wine.

klangaroo
the sound a roo makes when it hits your bull bar.

flatypus
a cat which has been run over by a vehicle.

yabble
the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans.

carlton drift
the wayward walk home from the pub

bushwanker
a pretentious drongo who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.

shornbag
a sheila with a brazillian wax.
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Rio Teresa
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PostSubject: Funny ANAGRAMS   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:55 pm

an·a·gram (ăn'ə-grăm') pronunciation
n.

1. A word or phrase formed by reordering the letters of another word or phrase, such as satin to stain.
2. anagrams (used with a sing. verb) A game in which players form words from a group of randomly picked letters.



here it go:


Dormitory = Dirty Room

Dictionary = Indicatory

Schoolmaster = The classroom

Elvis = Lives

Listen = Silent

Clint Eastwood = Old West Action

Madam Curie = Radium came

A telephone girl = Repeating "Hello"

Western Union = No Wire Unsent

The country side = No City Dust Here

Evangelist = Evil's Agent

Astronomers = Moon starers / No more stars

A telescope = To see place

The eyes = They see

The cockroach = Cook, catch her

Waitress = A stew, Sir?

The centenarians = I can hear ten "tens"

Desperation = A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code = Here Come Dots

The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil

Slot Machines = Cash Lost in'em

Conversation = Voices Rant On

Disraeli = I lead, Sir.

Clothespins = So Let's Pinch

Mr. Mojo risin' = Jim Morrison

The Great New York Rapid Transit Tunnel = Giant Work in Street, Partly Underneath

Florence Nightingale = Nigel, Fetch an Iron Leg / Flit on Cheering Angel
(Richard Stilgoe in "The Richard Stilgoe Letters")

MacDonalds = Clam and Sod

Darling I love you = leaving your idol / Avoiding our yell

Butterfly = Flutter-by

Heavy Rain? = Hire a Navy!

Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter

Animosity = Is No Amity

Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler

Funeral = Real Fun

Protectionism = Nice to imports

A Domesticated Animal = Docile, as a Man Tamed it

The Railroad Train = Hi! I Rattle and Roar

The Hilton = Hint: Hotel

A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss = Stroller on Go, Amasses Nothing

Sunshine and Shadow = Show in Sun and Shade

The Check is in the Mail = Claim "Heck, I sent it (heh)"

The United States Bureau of Fisheries = I Raise the Bass to Feed Us in the Future

Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's

Vacation Times = I'm Not as Active

Software = Swear Oft

Silicon Graphics = A Long Chip Crisis / Can logic ship, sir? / Gosh, sir, I can clip!

Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
(Dick Cavett)

The Detectives = Detect Thieves

The Hospital Ambulance = A Cab, I Hustle to Help Man

Semolina = Is No Meal

The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom

Christmas tree = Search, Set, Trim

A Gentleman = Elegant Man

Presbyterian = Best In Prayer

The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake

Salman Rushdie = Read, Shun Islam

Martin Scorsese = Screen is a storm
(the director of movies "Taxi Driver," "Mean Streets," "GoodFellas," "Cape Fear," and "Age of Innocence.")

Barbie doll = I'll bare bod / Babe I'd roll / Liberal bod

Student Information Processing Board = Computation Transgression Forbidden
(MIT)

Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free

Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one

Patrick Stewart = A Crap Trek Twist

Mel Gibson = Bong Smile

Admirer = Married

Indomitableness = Endless ambition

New York Times = Monkeys write / Monkey writes
(Andrew Glines)

David Letterman = Nerd amid late TV

Howard Stern = Retard shown

Contradiction = Accord not in it
(E. Tyron)

Debit card = Bad Credit


Last edited by Rio Teresa on Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rio Teresa
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:57 pm

TOP 5 Reasons kung bakit daw nagkakaubusan ng LALAKI




top 5)
KASI YUNG IBANG LALAKI PUMAPASOK SA SEMINARYO

***hindi natin maikaka-ila na malaki rin ang bawas nito sa populasyon ng mga kalalakihan dahil una makakarinig sila ng calling tapos papasok sa seminaryo at paglabas nila FATHER na sila, at mahirap na silang kunin kay LORD


top 4)
MAS MARAMING LALAKI ANG NAKUKULONG AT NAGIGING PRESO

***aminin na natin na mas malaki ang populasyon ng nakukulong na lalaki kesa sa mga babae at nakakalungot dahil minsan na nga lang makakita ng mamahalin ang girls kaso KRIMINAL naman


top 3)
DAHIL SA MGA BABAENG MALALANDI

***sila ung mga babaeng tatlo-tatlo, apat-apat ang lalaki. sila kadalasan ung kinaiinggitan ng iba dahil hindi man lang marunong magshare.. lahat ng lalaki sinuswapang nila...


top 2)
DAHIL SA MGA MATRONA

***sila naman ung mga matatandang babae na tuyo na ang matres ay sobra pa rin ang landi na pakiramdam yata nila sila ay isang sariwng bulaklak na ngaun pa lang madidiligan

top 1)
DAHIL SA MGA BAKLA

***aminin na natin na sa hirap na nga humanap ng lalaki, matyetyempuhan mo pa na may sapi ang makikita mo, ang nakakapagtaka pa hindi naman nanganganak ang mga bakla pero dumadami sila. at parang nakakahawa pa kaya naman mas mabilis ang pagkaubos ng tunay na lalaki.
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WikiWiki
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:58 am

mas nakikilala ko na si dada Smile

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Darsh
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:27 pm

Ahahahahah Natatawa ako d2 hahaha lol! lol! lol!
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ronym04
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PostSubject: hehe   Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:18 pm

darsh joke time nga... kaw talaga...

hehehe ate rio post kpa....hehehe nice naman eh, cla lng mga KJ

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aewarlock
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Mon Sep 15, 2008 12:13 am

lol! lol! ako natatawa sa inyo ... spamming na kau maxado ... hahaiz ... tsk tsk tsk ... it's time para gumawa ng new rank ... it will be named ..

"Top Spammer" .... ^_^

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ronym04
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:52 am

nice...

hehe cge gawa ka para sumikat kami ni darsh..

hahaha
number1 cya, top 2 naman ako...


LOLZ....

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mhertabz
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PostSubject: wahah wat a joke!!!   Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:21 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! IBA KA TALGA MAM RIO[i]
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